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Grand Rapids, MI

The Game of Thrones Collection


Hello, fortunate consumers!

Thank you for engaging with our product. You have now reached the purchasing stage. Don't fuck this up. Put in your credit card information. Join the revolution. Save the planet. Replenish the oceans. Save your marriage. Undo the past. Relive your best moments. Take the opportunities you missed. Write that novel. Travel the world. Kiss her when you had the chance. Work hard. Nurture your talents. Be there for your kids. The world is counting on you. A better life is just a cookie away. Buy buy buy BUY!! #blessed

The Game of Thrones Collection

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The Game of Thrones Collection


Political intrigue. Dragons. Boobs. Ice zombies. Incest. War. Boobs. Our "Game of Thrones" fortune cookie set is just what the maester ordered if you're looking to enhance your enjoyment of the HBO series between seasons, sweat out the interminable wait for the next novel, or simply feel like less of an idiot during conversations with coworkers. Our "Game of Thrones" Collection will separate the real Song of Ice and Fire fans from all of the pretenders who would rather do other things with their time, such as "going outside" and "engaging in sexual congress with a human partner."

Sampled wisdom:

  • "Not only will you build the Wall, you'll get the wildlings to pay for it. #MakeWesterosGreatAgain"
  • "While they will require attentive maternal care their whole lives, your dragons might be getting a little too big for public breastfeeding."
  • "Your wedding will go splendidly and everyone will have a really nice time."
  • "After a long, treacherous journey through hostile terrain, you will be relieved to arrive safely at home, where you can resume boning your sister."
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